by Kirian Fitzgibbons
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Of all the fighters, fights, world titles, TV shows, classes, seminars, training success stories, head kick KO's, highlight reel moments, etc, I've been a part of or been privy to in my coaching career, this photo, this simple photo is without a doubt my FAVORITE of all time!
It’s absolutely heartbreaking and so beautiful at the same time. It’s a photo of one of my fighters after a loss. Let me tell you why.
This is Jai Rodriquez (Evil Jai), Jai is one of my "old school" fighters (and really one of my favorite people of all time.) He hasn’t fought in years and honestly I don’t know if he ever wants to fight again, but what I do know about Jai is that this guy was everything you want in a fighter. Good heart, loyal, hardworking, good chin, tough as nails, trained every day, first one in, last one out and wanted to fight so bad you could see it in his eyes. The eyes always tell the real story, you just have to look long enough. "When can I fight Coach…when can I fight?"
Jai run faster, "Yes coach." Jai hit harder, "Yes coach." Jai see that guy over there, he’s hitting the girls too hard get your gear on and take care of it for me, "Yes Coach.” Jai would never question, never doubt, never complain, he would JUST DO! He would just ask, "When can I fight coach…when can I fight?”
Jai was never the most gifted athlete nor an incredibly impressive physical specimen, what he lacked in genetics he made up for with grit, determination, hard work, just a little bit of a mean streak and most of all DESIRE! Jai was a hard learner, things did not come easy to him, life has never been easy for him (but that’s a story for another time.) You wouldn’t know it in the gym, he showed up, he was a great team mate, and he worked hard everyday. Healthy or injured you couldn’t tell the difference. "When can I fight Coach… When can I fight?"
Smokers, exhibitions, Pankration, Kickboxing, Boxing, Jiu-Jitsu tournaments, you name it if he could hit somebody or submit somebody he was there, but when Jai was fighting there really was no amateur MMA so in order to fight MMA you pretty much had to turn pro.
I had another fighter who was scheduled to fight in a Gladiator Challenge show in San Francisco who pulled out for whatever reason. I honestly can't remember who was supposed to originally fight or why they pulled out all I can remember is Jai, "I’ll take the fight Coach…I’ll take the fight."
"Jai the fights in two weeks are you able to get off work"
"Yes Coach"
"It's at 170 pounds, can you make the weight?"
"Yes Coach”
"Jai you know the guy is an All American Wrestler?"
"Yes Coach. Let me Fight Coach, Let me fight."
This was a very tough fight for Jai at the time, he had solid Jiu Jitsu, decent stand up, but no real wrestling background and his opponent was a stud wrestler. Jai did not care, he just wanted to fight. You see, some people are just wired that way, born to fight, Jai was one of these people.
For the next two weeks, he trained, cut a tremendous amount of weight, in training he hurt his ankle kicking and it developed into staph inside his leg because of it, never said a word to me about it. I’m sure because he didn’t want me to pull him out of the fight. This is the kind of warrior Jai was/is.
Fast forward to the fight, it was an all out WAR. Jai fought is heart out and gave all he had, he and his opponent put on a hell of a show. Jai gave as good as he got and in between rounds you have never seen a focused warrior, bloodied, bruised, eye closing, "Let me Fight Coach…Let Me Fight."
But, in the end the wrestling made the difference and Jai lost the fight. He lost his pro debut, I will never forget that exact moment as he knelt in the cage in his corner a defeated warrior and I believe if he could have he probably would have committed Seppuku if there were a sword anywhere near the cage.
For those that know me or don’t know me, please understand CSA is my Gym, My Home and my athletes are my family. I love my fighters, my athletes are like my children, I want to see them succeed, I’m not in this for the money.
I’ll give you an example, I don’t take money from my pro fighters, I don’t charge them for pad work, I don’t take a percentage of their fight purses for coaching. Many of my fighters I manage as well, I don’t take a percentage for management, sponsorships, etc, I don’t ask for gas money, per diem, reimbursements for supplies, travel expenses, etc.
I ask my fighters, pro or am for two things, pay your gym dues (without that the gym doesn’t stay open) and respect for me, my gym and your team. That’s it, that’s all, otherwise I don’t want/need your money and as soon as money gets involved the dynamic between the fighter and coach changes. I'm sorry it just does.
My fighters know I love them and I do for them what I do because I choose to, not because I have to. I do this because when a fighter says to me “When can I fight coach…When Can I fight?” I need them to know I am motivated by care not greed and that I’m making good choices for them. It's another reason why we don’t do long term contracts at my gym, if you don’t want to be here I don’t want to take your money.
With that said CSA is NOT a democracy, it's my gym, it's my way or the highway and if you want to be a member or be on my fight team then you will do things my way. You will follow my system, you will fight when I say you fight, you will not fight when I say you wont. It's that simple, pro or am it does not matter to me. Why else are you at my gym?
My outlook on coaching is somewhat unique in that I don’t take credit or want glory when my fighters win (and thankfully they win a lot.) When my fighters win they did their job and should be celebrated, but if they lose it's my fault, I shoulder that blame. It eats me up, what did I do wrong as a coach, why didn’t I fill that hole in their game, what could I have done better, was the game plane wrong, etc. Some coaches will say, well the fighter didn’t follow the game plan, they didn’t listen and /or the fighter didn’t perform to their potential. This is many times true, but my response is always the same. Why? As the coach what did I miss, how did we disconnect on the game plan, why did I not see that they aren’t listening in fights, how can I fix it.
This is an individual sport based on a team dynamic and I run a team, I don't do guest coaching gigs. You're either on my team or you're not, how can I take responsibility for your performance, your career, your safety if I'm not the one leading the way? I can't so I don't and I won't!
Recently, I had an amateur MMA fighter on my fight team tell me that he had booked himself a fight and that he was going pro. Really now? Last I checked, you haven’t been coming into training. His response "I don’t have a fight lined up so why would I be training?" Ok stop, back up, "I don’t have a fight lined up so why would I be training?"
If this comment alone doesn’t resonate with you then there’s not much I can do to help you. I don’t know maybe because you have no combat sports experience outside of the training you have been doing here for a limited time. You have no belt in jits, no wrestling background, no stand up fight experience, your 2-2 as an Amateur in MMA, you missed weight on your last fight and then proceeded to call your opponent out in the middle of the cage for being a "p****" for not fighting you at a higher weight. You're lucky I didn’t kick you out of my gym then and I believe the last time we spoke I told you I’ll book you a fight when I see you in the gym training. So you can actually learn who to fight and I haven’t seen you since?
See, there’s a tremendous difference between WANTING to be a fighter and actually BEING a fighter. Everyday someone walks in my gym and says I want to be a fighter. This one line is normally the call sign of someone who isn’t going to last long in the gym or the fighter coming from another gym who is looking for special treatment. Either way my response is always the same, come in, put in your time, learn the system and then we’ll get you fighting when "I" think you're ready.
This is my way of weeding out the wanna bees, the Prima Donnas and the selfish "non team players". You want my attention? Prove it, put in a the work, work with people that are better then you and be humble when your getting your ass kicked. Be willing to work with people that are not as good as you and treat them as you want to be treated. If you are too good to help someone you don't belong in my gym. In my gym, everybody is equal, no one is more important than the other, we are a family.
In reality, fighting is pretty easy. Show up, swing for the fences, get hit, simple, but putting in the time to become a great fighter is not!
It sucks, it hurts, it takes sacrifice, dedication, time away from your family, children, wife, husband, blood, lack of sleep, sweat, tears (lots of tears), it takes an ability to get your ass kicked over and over and over and not let your ego rule you and keep coming back for more. It will break you down, it is supposed to, the growth is in the discomfort. You take the beatings until you start giving the beatings, it's really that simple! Everyone wants to be a fighter, but most simply don’t have the drive and most of all the LOVE for it to actually survive the process. "When can I Fight Coach…when Can I fight?"
So the soon to be pro tells me if I'm not going to support him on this he will have to go to another gym that will. My response, god bless & good luck with your career.
I've seen it time and time again, but he’s not ready he’s batting 500 in the ammy’s. He doesn’t train, doesn’t take the time to get better, isn't willing to sacrifice or live in that uncomfortable place. It's ok though lots of gyms will gladly take a guy like this and turn him pro to make some money and just to say they train a pro fighter. Someone will take his money, tell him what he wants to hear because what he really cares about is wearing a walkout shirt to the club and enjoying his after party. He’s no Jai.
Now Back to Jai, after his fight we go to the back the doctors check him out, the commission cuts him his check. A whopping $500 or $700 bucks and we go to the locker room. There would be no after party, I hate after parties. I hugged him, told him I loved him, and we sat in silence for what seemed like forever.
I was so proud of Jai for all that he gave, the way he fought, his spirit, his love of the sports, but he was dejected. There was a photographer there taking pics of every one after the fight so he came and took some pics of Jai ncluding the one you see attached. Jai was just sitting there, in a locker, eye swollen shut, body battered, face bloodied, heart broken. You can see it all in this pic, the hopes, the dreams, the love, the anger, the pain and sorrow, all of it. The moment the photographer left the room, Jai took the ice bag off his face, looked up at me and said "When can I fight Coach…when can I fight?"
In a blink of an eye the pain was gone, the sorrow was replaced with focus and he was back in the gym on Monday. Jai’s next fight was also for Gladiator Challenge, he fought a giant of a man. Like I said Jai has never had it easy. He promptly choked him out in 1:30 seconds and he was even featured on Inside MMA with coverage of his fight. It was well deserved, no one deserved it more.
So why not show a picture of Jai getting his hand raised or choking his opponent out? Because this picture tells the actual story of what it took to get there, to win that fight Jai had to live in this dark place and have this dark moment. This picture is Beautiful, it's art and that is why its my all time favorite.
This Picture hangs on the wall of my gym right next to all the world title belts, the trophies, the medals, pictures of the highlight reel knock outs because it tells the rest of the story, the real story, what it takes to be a GREAT FIGHTER.
"When can I fight Coach…when can I fight?"
*Photo of Jai by Guru Khalsa
Kirian Fitzgibbons will be contributing to the coach's corner here on Muay Thai Authority on a regular basis.
Kirian is the owner and head coach of the Combat Sports Academy (CSA) in Dublin, CA. Kirian trains fighters in a variety of combat sports.
He is currently the trainer to Muay Thai champions Miriam Nakamoto and Kevin Ross. He also trains rising Muay Thai stars Gaston Bolanos and Zolia Frausto. Kirian has coached the American Muay Thai team in several competitions including the IFMA world championships.
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